SHEPHERD AND A MAN

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.

Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, 'If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?'

The shepherd looks at
the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, 'Okay.'

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot
tables.

He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech
mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ‘'You have exactly 1,586 sheep.'.

The shepherd cheers,
"That's correct, you can have your choicest sheep from the herd".

'The young man takes one of the animals which he likes most and cute  from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche.

The shepherd looks at him and asks, 'If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?'

The young man laughed and  answers, 'Yes, why not?'

The shepherd says, 'You are an auditor.'

'How did you know?' asks the young man.

'Very simple,' answers the shepherd.

" First, you came here without being wanted.
Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.
Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business.....
Now can I have my DOG back?

Mamaks da best

Mathematician asks:  How to write 4 in between a 5?

China man replied: Is this a Joke?

Japan man exclaimed:  Impossible

American man said:  The question's wrong!!

British man snorted: Rubbish !!
 
Mamak wrote:  F(IV)E

😏😏☺😄😄
This is the reason you find Mamaks everywhere in the world in finance, business, medicine, engineering & arts...anything to do with optimising your brain!!

British: Can you swim?
Mamak: No
British:  Then a dog is better than you because it can swim.
Mamak: _Can you swim?
British: Yes!!
Mamak: Then what's the difference between you & the dog?

British shocked, faints!!
Mamak Rocks! 👍 😜

European:  Why do all you Mamaks come in different colors?
👳🏿‍♀👳🏾‍♀👳🏽‍♀👳🏼‍♀👳🏻‍♀
👳🏻👳🏼👳🏽👳🏾👳🏿

Look at us, we are all white.
👱👱👱👱👱👱

Mamak: Horses too come in different colors but donkeys are all the same!!!
😋😛😜😝

Oh my God. OMG! OMG! OMG...... Its burning

Pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take off........

"Thank you for flying with us this morning.

The weather is....."

Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers:

"Oh my God. OMG! OMG! OMG...... Its burning"

A ghostly Silence regained !

He gets back on the microphone talking to the passengers:

"I sincerely apologise for the incident but I just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap...you should see my pants."

One passenger replies -

"Why don't you come here and see Our PANTS"!

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

1-Ikan parang tidak boleh digunakan untuk menebang pokok.

2-Walau maju macam mana sekali pun Pekan di Pahang tetap akan disebut Pekan.

3-Air sebenarnya tidak boleh dicincang tetapi boleh ditarik,contohnya teh tarik.

4-Satu2 benda tidak hidup dan tidak bernyawa tapi boleh melahirkan adalah surat beranak.

5-Sumbu yg ada pada badak sumbu tidak boleh dicucuh dan menyala.

6-Kawasan yang mempunyai ibu tunggal yang boleh di percayai adalah di Janda Baik.

7-Tempat tertinggi di Malaysia bukannya di Gunung Kinabalu tetapi Kota Tinggi di Johor.

8-Burung tukang tidak boleh di harap untuk membuat rumah.

9-Selipar adalah panggilan yang betul sekiranya objek tersebut memiliki kedua-dua belah kiri dan kanan, penggunaan istilah Dualipar adalah salah dan tidak dibenarkan dalam Kamus Dewan.

10-Kakaktua tidak tahu yg dia sebenarnya saudara yg lebih tua dari adik2nya.

11-Kastam belum lagi menggunakan anjing laut untuk menghidu dan mengesan dadah.

12-Tempat paling kecil di Malaysia ialah Setapak.

13-Kuda laut tidak boleh berlumba.

Sebab ada 10 perkara yg saya tahu tentang kamu...

1. Kamu pasti sedang baca status ini..

2. Kamu sememangnya manusia..

3. Kamu tidak dapat menyebut huruf ' P' kalau bibir atas dan bibir bawah tidak bersentuhan..

4. Kamu baru saja mencubanya..

6. Kamu sedang tersenyum sendirian..

7. Sampai kamu tidak sedar yg no.5 tidak ada di situ..

8. Kamu baru saja cek no.5..ya memang tidak ada di situ..

9. Kamu ketawa sambil tersenyum...

Kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan kawan

1. Kamu memang malas untuk membaca semua kata "kawan" di atas...

2. Sampai kamu tidak sedar ada perkataan "kawin" diantaranya..

3. Kamu terus mencari perkataan "kawin"  yg memang sebenarnya tidak ada pun di situ...dgn muka serius sambil berkata "tak ada pun"..

4. Kamu pasti sedang ketawa dan tersenyum...sebab kamu baru saja TERKENA.. HAHAHAA

Cuba kamu lihat wajah kamu ke cermin sekarang..
Wajah kamu kelihatan manis dan berseri sekali...

Apa lagi..
Hantar la pada kawan kamu agar mereka pun boleh ketawa seperti kamu...

MEMBUAT ORG SENYUM ITU JUGAKAN SEBAHAGIAN BERSEDEKAH...

#senyumseindahsuria
#senyumlahdarihati
#duniamuberseri

A TOUCHING story:!!!

One day a boy walked from school. He saw a cat lying by the street side as though it was dead. To satisfy his curiosity, the boy came close and touched the cat to see if it was dead or hurt. He touched the first time there was no response. He then touched the cat again. He continued touching again and again. Touching and touching again and again. 

Like I said earlier, this is a touching story.
Thank you for reading it.....

Next time please pay attention

First year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. 
 
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered in a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine,it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." 
The Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. 
 
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students initially freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anus of the corpse and sucking on it. 
 
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at the class and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger but sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention!"